The following is something my wife Leah wrote that I feel so many should read.
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Which brings me to the the nine millionth drug I've tried....and I could have stopped trying a long time ago but I haven't. You see many have similar bottles tucked away in their medicine cabinets and feel so very alone. Others are scared to go get help because of the stigma or perhaps not even knowing where to begin. I've been in both those groups. 
I didn't choose PTSD and all the things that come with it.I didn't choose my genetic makeup or the things that I endured as a child.
And I could wallow in that because in all reality - it isn't fair.
But if we slice it- it isn't fair to have cancer, diabetes, epilepsy, Down syndrome, narcolepsy, autism, tinnitus, cystic fibrosis.....legs blown off in war, blind, deaf, infertility, starvation, sexual abuse, spiritual abuse....I could go on. 
So the choice. I choose everyday to overcome. I choose not to let my illness destroy my marriage and malform the souls of my children. I choose to cut off all the things that feed into my condition. I chose to not let it rob me of Gods calling for my life.
I long to not have to work so hard at living. But I do. So I run. Eat healthy. Have no Facebook. Blare preaching, God music, Gods word, God podcasts to drown out the thoughts that try to destroy. RUN from soul sucking negativity. Hang out with God seekers. Focus on the needs of others to keep myself off the victim track. Keep on trying the right meds that I can metabolize. Keep trying to find alternative treatments. PRAY. Go to therapy... Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Me and God have an understanding of the why?.... I've settled that long ago. My story may be your story too. Don't give up. You are not crazy. God will lead you to the answers that will write the story of how you overcame.
You can be healed- but if you are not- you can overcome. It's a daily choosing to link arms with God and fight. Do it. All those promises of abundant life, joy unspeakable, peace that passes understanding are for YOU too. They did not exclude you. Run the race. Running with u

Post by: Leah Arrowood



Proverbs 22:6 (KJV) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Now this is loaded scripture...vague is the word that comes mind, as in there are a million and one opinions on what proper training is. Well, that is unless we practice Spirit lead parenting, not that I'm the author on that.

We usually parent like we've been parented and our parents parent like they were parented too...that was fun😉

If we were raised with a man made spiritual handbook, we tend to raise our offspring in the same manner.

As a potential control freak (working on not being one) teaching my kids to follow a list of rules makes me feel a whole lot safer. However, what happens when I am no longer around to make sure they are complying with my list, or what happens when they encounter a situation that I forgot to give them a rule for?

Teaching and allowing them to live a spirit led life is much harder for this mamma.

So how do I start?

First of all, I have to live a spirit led life myself, because after all, they are watching me and learning.

A spirit led life teaches us that pure motives and Godly principles will keep us where the list of rules no longer reach. Pure motives and Godly principles can't be put on but are a work that comes from within. (The title of my next post is: You can't strap on fruit"....but lets not go there just yet😊).

Much like a Spirit led life, Spirit led parenting takes away my ability to physically control all things kid related. It causes me to continually rely on God to give me the wisdom for each and every thing that encompasses the word "train" as is stated in Proverbs 22:16.

With all my heart, I don't want my kids to wake up in their late 30's and 40's and realize that I raised them in a cast, and then them have to, at that late age learn what it truly means to live a life led by God and not man. I want them to KNOW God.


This training will keep them when they are old- what better/safer way than that! The truth is that I don't exactly know how to do that, but then again that's good because God does! All I need to do is follow HIS lead.

Teach me Lord🙏🏻

p.s.- I have amazing parents so this post is not a knock on their parenting....this is simply a reflection coming from the Christian culture we are currently surrounded by and my earnest desire to be the parent God wants me to be💗

The Value in Pain

I stood at the side of her bed and wondered at the determination, the resilience, the commitment that was required for a human life to be born into the world. To this point in our married lives I think I would have arrogantly considered my wife lacking in the strength department. She seemed so frail at times so emotional. Boy how that paradigm shattered in the tense moments leading up to the birth of our first born son Zion.

This was painful, horribly painful yet she was not complaining. This was humiliating and hectic, stressful, overwhelmingly so, yet she refused to give up. 

Then the moment happened that incredible moment when you hear the cry of your firstborn and as you weep for joy at the wonder of it all. Its at that moment, as she holds your child and calms its cries, as she gently whispers words of comfort with a familiar voice that you realize the beauty that comes from pain.

I learned a lot about pain that day as my bride became a mother. I learned that all pain is not bad. Sometimes pain is the path to the greatest things in life. 

Please consider a few of the benefits to some of the pain you may be going through:

First of all pain reveals our inner character. 
During times of pain, we have opportunity to learn things about ourselves we might not learn in any other way.

Second, pain reveals our humanity. 
It reveals our desperate need for divine help. It may be in time of trial, when we feel like we are hopeless, that we really learn to trust in God, not ourselves.

Thirdly, pain produces compassion.
The fruit of pain allows us to comfort and sympathize with a personal passion we would not have without our own pain. As we suffer, we may learn things we can share with others who are going through similar difficulty.

Fourthly pain produces gratitude.
At the end of a particular time of pain, you may have a deeper gratitude for simple blessings. 

And finally, pain makes victory possible.
Remember this: We not only suffer, we enjoy many blessings; we not only observe tragedy, we observe victory. Helen Keller said, "although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."

As we celebrate mothers this time of year may we all recognize the purpose and power in pain. 

I pray God’s best for each of you and that you can embrace everything that He brings, knowing that the hard, painful stuff has value too.

The epitaph of a daycare worker

The crowd flowed through for hours sharing their condolences with the family, each one with a funny story or a touching memory to share. All it seemed dynamically impacted by the one who's now lifeless body lay before them. To the casual observer it would appear that this was a very important person. 

My memory of her life started in grade school. She was a bit older than me but at the small christian school we attended in rural Southern Indiana I rubbed shoulders with her every day. I recall the countless times she was bullied. Kids teased her about her appearance, her speech, even her name. Children can ofttimes be exceedingly cruel. Even as a young boy I secretly longed to stand up for her, to put a stop to the punishment but I cannot recall ever doing so. As I write this it troubles me still.

She never married and she had no children of her own. She became a daycare worker in her twenties. Not the most glamorous job to say the least. With its little pay and long stressful hours it is so often times a thankless job but not to her.

She was not a beauty contest winner, she was not wealthy in monetary things, She was not a scholastic genius but she loved those kids. 

Then the worst of news, the doctors told her she had cancer, aggressive cancer and it would steal her health. She fought it, she believed for a miracle but her earthly life succumbed to the disease.

Yet somehow through all the challenges she faced, through all the difficulties life had thrown at her, she had managed to do something that I think all of us with any humanity would long to do. Refusing to be marginalized by her circumstances, she lived for a divine purpose by caring and loving kids. She found the destiny for her life and she gave it her all.

Her kiddos loved her, the parents of those children trusted her, her coworkers admired her, all of us that knew her wondered at her resilience and her faith. I know heaven applauded her and welcomed her home.

So I write this to all the people, the struggling, hurting, broken people, the people who feel life has thrown you a curve, the people who do not see their life as important, for all of us with lost dreams and a since of failure, take a lesson from Elizabeth. Live today pouring your life out for others. 

The most successful among us are not always the ones who stand at the front of the line, or that make a lot of money, or get the awards, or have the looks that turn heads. The greatest among us are the ones who find what God really created them for and then they take their life and pour it out for others. 

John 9:35-37
And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them, Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me:

She Has No Defender
Author: Aaron Arrowood

As her tiny fingers stretch into the darkness
She feels the warmth of the atmosphere that swirls around her
She blinks her eyes and swims about
She listens to hear what have become familiar sounds
Her mother’s voice
A home she’s never seen
And a world she’ll never know
Her mind cannot comprehend the looming danger
Her life has no defender
Though she has committed no crime, has offended no one, has done no harm
She is despised
Less then human
She drifts to sleep hearing the beating of her mother’s heart; a sublime symphony that she has grown to love
All seems right in this sanctuary of God’s creation
But this haven will become her sarcophagus
She has nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
She is naked before her executioner
She is defenseless
Sweet dreams are ripped away and her tiny heart knows fear for the first time
As pain engulfs her she would cry
She would scream
She would protest
But no one is listening
She has no defender
She with her soft blonde hair and darting, curious eyes
Is despised, less then human
Less then an animal
She is refuse
She has no defender
Is there anyone that cares for her
Where is her hero
Who will risk life and limb
Who will trade the warmth of a calloused conscience to take up arms in the sodden trenches of moral compulsion
A silent cry rises louder than the weeping of all the fallen soldiers of every war through all of time, and their grieving wives and children too
But reticent saviors are hard to stir as they count the costs and grow more accustomed to the tragedy with each passing moment
While taciturn heroes soothe their own souls
In her mind a melee of terror erupts with no words with which to quantify, comfort, or capitulate
She silently slips into another darkness
Her voice never will be heard
Her story will never be told
No monument will memorialize her tragic and untimely end
She has never known, nor will she ever be
She has no defender

Let us never forget the daily tragedy of legalized abortion. Let us be her defender.
Aaron Arrowood is an author/song writer, professional videographer, pastor and avid cyclist.
Aaron is on Facebook 

I believe most of us live with a paradigm about God. Consciously or sub-consciously we believe God has an agenda, a motive behind His relationship with us. I hope this helps to clear the air.

Luke 15:16-24
And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:
And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.

Why did God make us? I have heard and preached sermons declaring that He made us for worship. I have also heard and preached that He made us so that we would love Him. The angels couldn’t do this because they didn’t really have a choice. Let’s hold that question for a moment.

I know that God loves me. However, I have always put His love in the context of love as opposed to judgment. We were lost in our sins so Christ died for us so that we could/would love Him and do His work in the earth. So because of great mercy, He loves us in spite of ourselves. 

He created us to give Him glory, right? I say, “no”!

Why does a parent adopt or have a child? Is it because they want a little human that will love them? Not primarily. Its because a parent has love to give! A child is the recipient of love that is in the heart of the parent. That is how we love our children even before we ever see them. 

We are not a choir created to sing praise. We are the created objects of God’s affection. 

It seems that I often worship to earn God. I worship to conjure up God’s anointing. I worship because of the fact that I am so rotten without His mercy. I sing and pray with the thought of Calvary ever before me. Living life with a debt that I cannot ever repay . If it weren’t for Grace we would be lost. Yes, that is true, but is that where God wants us to dwell. I wonder if the Prodigal’s father reminded him of how much he owed every time he turned around. Did he spend the rest of this life thanking his father, “dad I’m such a loser, thanks for letting me come back”? 

I submit that the ultimate goal is a “no-black-book” love relationship. Calvary is not the object. Calvary was simply a way of allowing us to get back to Eden a place where God could show His love toward man. We were not created to praise, worship, give glory, or even to love. These are all worthwhile endeavors but I believe that our primary created purpose is to BE Loved by God.

I’m not talking about a “name it and claim it” religion of God as our slave. I am not talking about being spoiled children with our dirty little hand expectantly extended from morning to night. I am talking about allowing God to love us. He said it is better to give than to receive. Is that only for us? No! He would rather give love than to receive it. Yet we are so bound in guilt, shame, and sin that we are stuck in a perpetual Prodigal mode. We don’t feel worthy to be sons. We don’t feel worthy to be loved. No, God, I don’t want anything I just want to worship you. No, God. I don’t need anything I just want to give you some penance praise so I can ease my aching conscience. 

That is not what God wants. How would you feel if you could only receive hugs from your kids but you couldn’t ever give one? What if you could only get gifts but could never see their eyes light up as they open the gift you’ve given them. I hate the statement about God being worthy even if He never does another thing for me. Is it true? Yes. But what father goes around with that attitude? God isn’t walking around saying, “Praise Me”. He is saying, “I love you”. 
God always gives more than He asks of us. He asks us to be holy and He is perfect. He asks us to be honest and He has never lied. In the Old Testament He asked for Turtle Doves, and He gave His own life. So, what is the greatest commandment? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. I propose to you that the greatest commandment is a revelation of the premise for which God made us. LOVE. 

Satan’s first lie to man was to distort the motive of God. To make his love tainted by a hidden agenda.

“He doesn’t want you to eat because if you do you will be like him.”

The truth be known man was as much like God as any creation could ever be. Yet he believed the lie and instead of being more like God he became like the devil. Full of himself, self-serving, self-indulged, plain old selfish.

From that time on man has been looking over his shoulder trusting little because of his own way of thinking. Surly everyone is after something right?

I have always had a twisted understanding of Love. It seems I loved who loved me, who was kind to me, who befriended me. I always loved to be loved or to gain something in return. Until I had a son. Zion changed everything. I now know the love of a father. I do not love that little guy because he loves me. I just love him. I do not take care of him, feed him, clothe him, change his dirty diapers & protect him because someday he will feed, clothe, protect and change my diapers. There are no strings attached. I do it because I love him.

The reason Leah and I had a child is because we had love to give.
Zion has become the object of our affection.

Phil, a student in my next step discipleship class asked a great question. We had been talking about the fact that God is all knowing, that He knows the end from the beginning and that God knew man would fall out of covenant with him, Phil asked “why did God make man the way that he did.” Why did He create something He would have to save?
I started to go into my spiel about choice and how we were made in a way so we could choose Him and love Him when all of a sudden I realized something I had never realized before.

God made man the way He did with a choice knowing well man would choose to disobey and He also created the rule that sin would be punishable by death and death alone and that the one who died to pay the price for the sin would have to be spotless.
He created a scenario were He himself would be the only one who could pay the price for sin because of His own regulations about sin and the sacrifice that could pay for it.

Why would He do that?

Jesus said there is no greater love than this, than when a man lays down his life for a friend. The greatest expression of true love. The mountaintop of love is dying for someone else.

This God we serve so desired to show His limitless love for us that He created before the foundations of the world a plan so selfless that it will take eternity to truly comprehend. As He hung on mount Calvary He would be fulfilling the perfect love as He died for you and for me. He could have it no other way. It is the clearest picture of His divine nature and His emotions toward us.

Love to spend. We were the objects of His affection.

I want you to understand this. God has no agenda other than your well-being.
Everything He has ever done has always been motivated by love.

This is the greatest mystery of the ages, this is the peak of divine revelation, God loves you. God cares about you.

To every spouse in a marriage that seams to be sinking I want you to know God cares
To every person who’s marriage fell apart
To those who have tried but cannot have children
To the single moms and dads who have to be a mom and dad to their kids
To every person who has to go home to an empty house I want you to know God cares

To those suffering with the lose of a loved one
To the ones who cant seem to make enough to pay the bills
To those who haven’t found their place in the world
To those who have a hard time making friends
To those who were done wrong by your friends
To those who trusted and your trust was broken
To those who suffer from depression
For those who were orphaned
To those who look in the mirror and do not like what you see
To those who have it hard or unfair and you don’t understand why
To those who’s kids no longer serve god
To those who have never known true love
To those who don’t get paid as much as they are worth
To those with cancer, sugar diabetes, heart conditions, and any other sickness or disease
To those who live in daily pain
To those who have done more than your share of sinning
To those who have regrets that keep you up at night
For those of you still struggling with addiction
For us who still make the same mistakes
For those who worry about tomorrow
For those who are still frightened by your past
For the ones the devil is attacking
God loves you, God cares about you

You may have had to buy a spouses love but you don’t have to buy His
You may have had to earn a fathers love but you do not have to earn His

He loves you and always has, yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever
If you turn away from him
If you fail him
If you love others more than him
If you stop loving him
If you blame him
If you disrespect him
If you choose the devil over him
If you hurt him
If you nail him to a cross again if you pluck his beard again if you spit on him again

He will never stop loving you
You are the object of His affection