The following is something my wife Leah wrote that I feel so many should read.
Which brings me to the the nine millionth drug I've tried....and I could have stopped trying a long time ago but I haven't. You see many have similar bottles tucked away in their medicine cabinets and feel so very alone. Others are scared to go get help because of the stigma or perhaps not even knowing where to begin. I've been in both those groups.
I didn't choose PTSD and all the things that come with it.I didn't choose my genetic makeup or the things that I endured as a child.
And I could wallow in that because in all reality - it isn't fair.
But if we slice it- it isn't fair to have cancer, diabetes, epilepsy, Down syndrome, narcolepsy, autism, tinnitus, cystic fibrosis.....legs blown off in war, blind, deaf, infertility, starvation, sexual abuse, spiritual abuse....I could go on.
So the choice. I choose everyday to overcome. I choose not to let my illness destroy my marriage and malform the souls of my children. I choose to cut off all the things that feed into my condition. I chose to not let it rob me of Gods calling for my life.
I long to not have to work so hard at living. But I do. So I run. Eat healthy. Have no Facebook. Blare preaching, God music, Gods word, God podcasts to drown out the thoughts that try to destroy. RUN from soul sucking negativity. Hang out with God seekers. Focus on the needs of others to keep myself off the victim track. Keep on trying the right meds that I can metabolize. Keep trying to find alternative treatments. PRAY. Go to therapy... Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Me and God have an understanding of the why?.... I've settled that long ago. My story may be your story too. Don't give up. You are not crazy. God will lead you to the answers that will write the story of how you overcame.
You can be healed- but if you are not- you can overcome. It's a daily choosing to link arms with God and fight. Do it. All those promises of abundant life, joy unspeakable, peace that passes understanding are for YOU too. They did not exclude you. Run the race. Running with u